Even director Uwe Boll, who criticized the abomination that is “Borderlands,” saying, “I wish I had directed it!” and he criticized it harshly.

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Even director Uwe Boll, who criticized the abomination that is “Borderlands,” saying, “I wish I had directed it!” and he criticized it harshly.

Things continue to go from bad to worse for the film Borderlands. Notorious filmmaker and full-time troll, Uwe Boll, has been doing his best to condemn the film's poor reception while rejoicing in the film's poor reception.

Bol posted an image borrowed from IGN on social media. According to it, the film made only $8.8 million in its opening weekend against a budget of $115 million. 'Ha ha,' Boll wrote. 'My movie is R-rated and made more money than this. My film is R-rated and made more money than this. [Has Bol's film really ever made more than $8.8 million? Twitter user StopSkeletons replied to Bol with some statistics: Bol's biggest success was “House of the Dead,” which opened to $5.5 million and made $13.8 million at the final box office. Adding the opening weekend of “Alone in the Dark” ($2.8 million) and “Bloodrayne” ($1.5 million) brings the total to $9.8 million, albeit spread across three films (Boll has directed more, of course).

Uwe's rebuttal was the utterly ridiculous claim that his film had been illegally downloaded 41 billion times (yes, “billion” with a “b”). Bol interrupted other replies, calling people nerds, idiot sandwiches, and of course the old standby, “your mother.”

“Please have an Eli Roth/Uwe Boll boxing match,” Nalo Video wrote. 'Whoever wins gets to direct Zelda. My favorite reply, and presumably Boll's as well, is the Simpsons meme of Martin dunking on Bart. But will the gamers contact the makers of Stride gum and convince them to offer a free box of gum to each person who signs a petition that Eli Roth will no longer be able to direct?

If you're having trouble parsing this, I got you: a campaign sponsored by Stride Gum in the 2000s that offered a free box of gum to everyone who signed a petition asking Bol to stop directing terrible movies. As you can see, it didn't work.

Finally, regarding Boll's claim that “now you want me to direct.” While I can find no mention of Boll ever being considered to direct “Borderlands,” Boll has frequently put his name forward for all kinds of projects and is known for his long list of video game adaptations. He may have raised his hand on this project at some point, only to be summarily ignored.

Now ...... It's odd that I feel a little bad for Eli Roth, but Uwe Boll provokes a really odd reaction. I haven't seen it, and while “Borderlands” may be a little bad, in all fairness, it's hard to imagine it being worse than Uwe Boll's film.

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