I am one of at least 15 people who subscribe to Apple Music instead of Spotify. Let me explain why: my parents' Apple One subscription turned me into a leech. Reason #2: Apple's Early Music playlist: Apple's Early Music playlist is a collection of pre-Baroque tunes made up of Medieval and Renaissance-era songs with a predominantly religious bent (they were into all things then).

Is there something similar on Spotify? It's the only way to avoid being swallowed up by FOMO when wrapping season arrives.

Anyway, medieval tunes are great, but they were no longer made after Robespierre, Napoleon, and the electrification of Europe in the Revolution of 1848. But don't worry, in the 21st century we can make them ourselves: the absolute madmen of Swedish synth house Teenage Engineering have created "the world's first medieval electronic instrument"

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Called the EP-1320, it is described in the introduction as an instrumentalis electronicum, but this is much cooler, with "hurdy-gurdy, lute, Gregorian chant, thunderous drums, punishing percussive foley FX It's full of it. Basically, it comes with all sorts of medieval instrumental phrases and demo songs that you can mix and match as you please.

It also looks... . appropriate for the times. Not only are all the buttons labeled in Latin, which I am not 100% qualified to judge, but Teenage Engineering has gone out of its way to give the seven-segment display on the box's screen a medieval look, and in a video that B&H has posted on YouTube you can hear what it sounds like. It looks like a small, portable Peter Pringle.

Teenage Engineering also shot an advertisement for the product, which is like if The Colour of Pomegranates had a product placement: people in creepy clothes going through forests and beaches, strange and sacred movements, and the occasional shot where the EP-1320 is worshipped like a god in this shot. It doesn't explain anything, and I could watch it a hundred times and never get tired of it.

Anyway, before I rave on about this ridiculous machine, I'd like to point out that it costs $300 (or £300, or £300, or £300, or £300, or £300, or £300). That's not a crazy amount of money, I suppose, but it's not a price I personally would be willing to pay, even if it were for an incredible gag. However, if you have a ton of cash or really need a renaissance beatbox, by all means pick one up and let me know how it turned out.