Final Fantasy 14 is known for its beautiful men who captivate fans, and they have several things in common.

They are usually chiseled, handsome, unshaven husbands with a soft, sometimes boyish charm. The exception is Emmett Serche, who is more like a tired middle-aged man (or maybe an aging millennial) trapped in a perverted body. But this rule generally holds. If you look at my career as a writer, I myself am a victim of it.

So, naturally, the first object of the new expansion, Final Fantasy 14: Dawntrail, is (check your notes) ...... Let's see. It's a two-headed lizard man. Hmm.

That's right, despite the beautiful, cute, bespectacled, shy, nice-voiced cat boy, Koana, standing there, the FF14 fan base walked past him like a pet sitting on cardboard ignoring a freshly unpacked bed It appears as if. To illustrate this, here is a beautifully rendered image of Bakool Jaja in a maid's outfit.

As someone who recently finished the main scenario quest, this is exceptionally interesting; Bakool Ja Ja is a comprehensive jerk, although I caution against spoiling the second half of the story.

He takes advantage of almost any opportunity to cause trouble, unleash terror, or assault. Almost all of his screen time is spent cackling like a Saturday morning cartoon villain. He is the schoolyard bully wrapped in a pile of failures. He may literally stomp on your tacos (not figuratively, thank God) out of spite.

On the other hand, he stands about 9 feet tall and has large pecs and back muscles. Two heads. That's fun. That's fun.

Spearheading BakoolJaJa's publicity campaign is a pathetic, bleak soul who actually renamed the in-game character "BakoolJaJa's Babygirl" straight up: "When you give BakoolJaJa a Bakool Job Job Bakool Jaja."

They are currently freaking out over the fact that Kotaku wrote about this before I did (hello, I'm here to make things worse).

I can't write a preface that will psychologically prepare you for this character's name on Twitter, because if you search for her name, you will see a lot of Bakool Ja Ja fan art. Some in maids, some in bikinis. Some have him being "milked" but I don't want to link to them here because you will have to look at them again. [because the more time I spend pondering the pros and cons of blessed brotherhood, the more I come to appreciate it. I will now go into spoilers for the second half of Dawntrail's story. If you have not read it, please bear with me.

Bakr Jaja does a 180 and becomes a sympathetic character by the end. He is essentially a spoiled, corrupt money-grubber with a mountain of expectations on his shoulders, desperate to stop attempts to increase the number of two-headed lizard people like him. It's pretty tough.

This seems to be the biggest factor, even more than his large stature or implied twin reproductive organs. Bullies are not inherently good-looking, but bullies with tragic backgrounds are fodder for fanfiction. Regardless, let's enjoy Expert Roulette while we erase this from our memories. Lizard lovers, this is the work of the zodiac.