I'm starting to get some sort of paranoia. Is there anything that is not moving Doom at this point? Is there anything that is not moving Doom as we do this now? I am beginning to feel the music of E1M1 at the edge of my hearing as the cacodemon flickers out of the corner of my eye. Am I running doom?

So is a toothbrush. Because it is the unlikely newest device to host the Plank Mini toothbrush, the "creator" of every FPS on the planet. Until you're done rinsing and flossing, slayer.

The toothbrush Doom, discovered by 404 Media, comes courtesy of a wizard named Aaron Christophel, who used custom firmware to hack the WiFi-enabled brush and load a special custom version of Doom onto the toothbrush. Normally, the WiFi feature of the Plank Mini exists only to allow for dental hygienist monitoring status. That is, to allow me to collect reports and information about my child's brushing habits without being home myself. But I am neither a parent nor a Colgate Securitate agent.

Anyway, once Planck was completely jailbroken, Christophel used two projects on GitHub to get Doom working on that tiny little screen: the first, a developer who got Doom working on a cheap Christmas tree-like thing a while back Jeroen Domburg's project, and the second was Simon Howard's miniwad, a tiny little Doom version that did a lot of work to shrink the game down enough to fit on the brush's 4MB of flash storage. Still, Christophel had to shrink this version to make it work.

With the toothbrush hack done, all that was left was to play Doom. Indeed, it runs very smoothly and can be controlled with a regular computer mouse. However, there is no on-board speaker, so you can't hear the shotgun blast.

Frankly, this is fantastic. If we are destined inexorably down this road to a cyberpunk future where everything feeds back our personal data to the shadowy empire of San Francisco's Tech Brother and can kill people by refreshing their brains (heh), at least we can get these ridiculous little projects to entertain us on the way there. Even if the earth is hell, we must remain optimistic.