CES is all but over and AI fatigue has struck hardware writers (as the term "AI" has entered the realm of buzzword purgatory), but I'm about to make things even worse for everyone, as TheVerge has discovered that a new line of products aimed at treating people with premature ejaculation AI-powered sex toys are now available.

Myhixel Control is packed with "fascinating gamification applications" and costs a whopping £199 (about $253), which is £190 more than a World of Warcraft subscription and £190 more than a Star It is $47,747 cheaper than a single Citizen bundle. In other words, this price range is probably game accurate without being sophomoric.

But you're buying more than just a sex toy, says Myhixel. Myhixel's controls are designed to help users "control and prolong ejaculation time, as well as improve overall sexual health" and get their own sexy best-in-slot through eight weeks of grueling gear grind.

Anyone who has ever tried to gear up for an endgame raid in an MMORPG knows the time schedule. You're in the middle of using MyHixel, and "More DoT!" I haven't tried to see if anyone will yell at me.

In addition, the app has AI and machine learning, presumably to provide a tailor-made schedule that reacts to your unwanted Any% Myhixel speed runs. The company claims that the data involved is "secure and anonymous," which is disappointing. We would like to see a leaderboard and an active analysis community.

In addition, the company advertises that it has a team of sex experts who can be contacted if they are confused by the instructions of their new AI companion. The site demonstrates this with this image, which I am simply enamored with.

If you want to see what the app looks like, check out CES's TikTok, courtesy of HardwareZone. For example, the task on Planet Kronos I requires "identifying the muscles that are strained during stimulation with the Myhixel device. In addition, a statistics board with the first use and best (longest) times recorded will be distributed for comparison.

I mean, look, there are questions about the scientific validity of Myhixel's claims, but if someone wants to game the path to sexual health, who are we to judge it? On the other hand, you can't just say 'gamification' and expect people not to be competitive; it's nearly £200."