I have some bad news, folks. Vocal rapper Post Malone has become as beautiful and terrifying as the dawn, as dangerous as the ocean, and stronger than the foundations of the earth. In other words, he has become the owner of the one and only Magic: The Gathering card featuring the Ring of Sauron from The Lord of the Rings. All will love him and despair.

The One Ring card is literally unique. As discovered by VGC, Malone purchased the card from its previous owner, Brooke Trafton, and captured the moment of its rise to fame in a 13 second clip.

"When I found the One Ring, the first thing that came to mind was Post Malone," Trafton wrote in the caption of the video, coincidentally combining some of the funniest phrases in the English language. I've been playing MTG since I was a kid, and I think it would be awesome if I could keep this card." But for a guy like me, being able to sell this is life changing."

Trafton is not exaggerating, given that the One Ring card is valued at about $2 million. The actual amount Malone paid for the card has not been disclosed, but it was probably an amount that people like you and me would not believe our eyes.

Trafton says he "really wanted it to go to someone who would appreciate it" as much as he did, and he thinks Malone fits the bill. He wrote, "This is a dream come true for me, and meeting Post Malone and having him buy a One Ring card from me is a moment that literally came out of a fairy tale," and he thanked both Malone and Magic for changing his life. This kind of thing doesn't happen to people like me," he wrote, "and I am eternally grateful. I am eternally grateful."