[Sons of the Forest is a hardcore survival sim currently dominating Steam (open in new tab). More than the cannibalism part (although I did chuckle the first time I barbecued a human limb for 12 seconds and ate it whole), I turned around to find my loyal but clumsy NPC companion Kelvin in the pond, ankle-deep in water, staring blankly at the surface. He was trying to pull a fish out of the pond with his bare hands, something I had asked him to do about 15 minutes earlier and had quickly forgotten. [Even though he didn't have a fishing rod, hook, bait, or fish catcher (opens with a new tab), he didn't try to stop me from my self-indulgent chore. I was about to pat him on the back when I tripped over a fish. No, it wasn't a fish; it was thirteen of them. Thirteen trout piled haphazardly behind Kelvin, who had probably just hoisted another trout out of the water and had no time to sort them out. Kelvin is a fishing god! That's right! This game is ridiculous. I'm hooked.

I'm not the only one laughing with Kelvin. He has become everyone's favorite and best boy (opens in new tab). I can't survive the forest without him. But Kelvin, like all of us, has a lack of knowledge that gets him into trouble. For example, he absolutely cannot and should not be trusted around the treehouse.

Thanks to the free-form building in Sons of the Forest, it is very cool that you can easily pick any tree you want and make it your home. Not only are treehouses a tactically appropriate idea (they can prevent raids by locals), but they can be easily expanded. Unfortunately, Kerbin does not value vertical construction. As it stands, when asked to gather logs, he is programmed to simply chop down the nearest tree. Even if it is a tree attached to the treehouse from which he is trying to collect the logs.

At first I thought this was an anomalous bug. I thought, "The developers must have made Kelvin smart enough not to routinely destroy his own house." ...... No, no.

"I can't even get mad at this guy. I can't even be mad at this guy. You're right. Kelvin is too innocent and too good to hold a grudge. Even if he literally destroys everything you've worked for, the pure thumbs-up he sends you is enough to make your heart soar.

Kelvin's arboricidal exploits are so infamous that he's been treated as a "Breaking Bad" meme.

To Kelvin's credit, he is only one of the main reasons for the sudden loss of home. The game is quite detailed about how much punishment a structure can withstand before it explodes into a pile of Lincoln logs. One wrong swing of the axe and this is what happens:

Then there are the unexplained physical interactions. I'm not sure what's going on with the snow in this location, but I'm making a note to stomp Mario ASAP.

Sometimes physics is on your side. The spear is a particularly good weapon to have, because it can do this:

Now that players are discovering what is possible with 3D printed sleds, forest antics have definitely reached a new level. Snowy mountains are as much fun to climb down as they are to climb up:

In the world of "Sons of the Forest," I am amazed at how safe sledding is. I might not have experienced sledding for hours for fear of hitting my head on a tree.

After all, you don't even need a sled to shred the slopes. Apparently, taking out a notebook while standing on a hill has the physical properties of a bouncing ball of rubber.