There is an old adage: "If you're going to commit a crime, at least be smart about it. That way, even if you get caught, you have a chance to be thought of as an "Ocean's Eleven"-esque heist genius. Contrast that with this guy who tried to get through Chinese customs, apparently wearing 239 Intel Core processors. Chinese site Kuai Technology (opens in new tab) (via SweClockers (opens in new tab)) tells the Darwinian story of one man's attempt to bring this cache of CPUs into the country.

Close your eyes with me and imagine for a moment that you are a customs official at the Gongbei Port Passenger Inspection Station. Your day has probably been uneventful thus far, but at about 8:10 p.m. you spot a man walking toward the gate. His large black clothes are comically oversized, and his waist and thighs are so bulging that he is clearly not human. Underneath the clothes you can see distinct angular shapes, and the person in them appears excessively misshapen. The man is about to enter the "undeclared canal. You nudge your colleague and say in an incredulous tone, "Are you seeing this? They are indeed seeing this and nod in agreement. You play rock-paper-scissors to determine who gets to talk to the man. You lose, and your night just got a lot more interesting.

Upon inspection, customs officials found a total of 239 fully packaged CPUs strapped to the smuggler's body. They were taped to his waist, abdomen, and thighs, creating a stunning silhouette that belied his efforts. In fact, we are thankful that it was just a CPU instead, because the photo shared looks like a person strapped up with plastic explosives.

The photo also revealed that at least one chunk of the CPU is one of Intel's latest offerings in the Core i5 13400F (opens in new tab). When it comes to gaming CPUs, these may be among the cheapest, but they are among the best CPUs on offer: with 10 cores, the price is under $200 (opens in new tab). Assuming there were no more expensive chips in the cache, the majority of products in this price range would be worth close to $50,000.

No word yet on the disposition, but this guy must be regretting his choice of airport attire. If you need a new chip, I suggest you check out the list of the best CPUs for gaming (opens in a new tab) before deciding. This is a good reminder that you should always get computer parts from reputable sources rather than risk getting someone's ex-mining rig or one sneaking under a stranger's clothes.