I thought today would be a normal, boring Monday. Reply to a few emails, write a news article, check Twitter to see if anything jumped out at me. With McDonald's new gaming chair, aka "McRispy," our descent into the monkey begins now.

No, you haven't wandered into the alternate universe where Ronald McDonald is a famous esports athlete; McCrispy is an actual gaming chair that you can win by participating in McDonald's official Facebook competition (opens in a new tab), where you can actually pick up

It's a gaming chair you can actually hold in your hand.

There are only four of them worldwide, so you shouldn't see every streamer with a questionable income stream equipped with one of these chairs.

Terrifying to think about.

The design is nauseating black and yellow, with McClispy printed diagonally across the leather and even a matching lumbar support pillow. Of course, the black headrests have a giant M on them, and the wheels are also plastered in McDonald's yellow.

In the 30 years I have been alive in this world, I have never felt the need to keep my McRispies warm. Imagine all those germs fermenting a hamburger for hours on end. Furthermore, we have never wanted a gaming chair that emits heat. Gaming chairs are already warm enough for us to sit in and sweat for games. Usually, gaming chairs advertise the opposite (open in new tab) feature.

Worst of all, McDonald's sells these seats with a grease-resistant leather finish. So yes, just gobble it up, folks. You don't need table manners, and you can forget about all the effort you spent cleaning your gaming keyboard (opens in new tab).

Now it's time to say goodbye to the dignity of humanity. And don't expect a review, as we won't be getting one for testing.