Epic and Apple returned to court today for the second week of a trial stemming from Epic's 2020 accusation that Apple's iOS rules are anticompetitive. As usual, the lawyers argue over technical distinctions that wouldn't be out of place in a late-night Discord chat: today's questions included whether Fornite is for children, whether Fortnite's creative mode is a game or anything else, etc.

But one surprising question arose: whether it is appropriate to show nude breasts of Fortnite's banana character, Peely, in federal court. (Apparently, her breasts were shown.)

Addie Robertson, a senior reporter for The Verge, heard a live audio feed from the courtroom and posted the live feed on Twitter (recording audio is prohibited, so a transcript is what we have). According to Robertson, the following exchange occurred today between Apple's attorney and Epic's marketing director, Matthew Weissinger: "Weissinger: 'Yes, that's Peely'" Apple's attorney: (Peely is after pointing out that he was wearing a suit): "We thought it would be better to wear a suit instead of a naked banana.

It is very good that the phrases "yes, that's Peely" and "that's a naked banana" were recorded by the court stenographer, although it is clear that Apple's lawyer was being playful. Peery's discourse did not stop there. Later, Epic attorney Lauren Moskowitz questioned Weisinger, and Peery came up again. According to Robertson's transcription, the conversation went something like this: [Epic's attorney: Epic's attorney: "There may have been an implication that it may have been inappropriate to show Peery without a suit." [Lawyer shows pictures of a naked Peeley in court].

"Is there anything inappropriate about Peery without clothes?"

"It's just a banana, ma'am" is one of those phrases that would fit nicely as an S-class statement, but sadly, it may not be exactly what was said. due to Covid-19 restrictions, the reporter actually allowed to sit in court is only one person. That reporter apparently heard, "It's just bananas, man," which is not that interesting. (Whatever the court stenographer wrote down will be the final word, we shall see.)

Last week, Apple's lawyers tried to establish that Epic was unwise to host a third-party store by declaring that itch.io, recently made available on the Epic Game Store, contained "offensive and sexual" games. And now Epic is showing off its shirtless bananas. Shameful.

Peely's gag was just an afterthought to another long day of trying to define things; Epic then called expert witnesses to try to establish that Apple iPhone sales create an aftermarket for iOS app distribution. This was a well-documented claim prior to trial, which we will discuss in our summary of the Epic v. Apple trial, along with other anticipated claims.

The trial is expected to last all week or a little longer. Once the trial is over, the judge will write a decision, which will almost certainly be appealed by either party that is not favorable. For now, the winner will be itch.io. Apple's lawyers have made itch.io look like a cesspool of corruption.