Like most billionaire PC gamers, 1920x1080 resolution is nauseating. Just demand an impossibly expensive 8K screen capable of displaying 16 times that resolution or more: 7680x4320 is the new hurdle elegantly set by this 98-inch Samsung TV.

Finally, a TV for the everyman, the Samsung Q900: for the low price of $49,997.99, you get a remote control, eight capital K's, Wi-Fi support, and other key features.

If you could not only examine the pores on the faces of your local newspeople, but build a house in each one of them, rent it out to the lower classes, and squeeze them with incremental rent increases over the years, all the while buying more pointless and virtually DOA FutureTech, so you can buy more profit margins If you've ever wanted to lobby for looser housing laws in order to increase your profit margins, this is the TV for you.

While I appreciate the $50,000 savings, spending the full $100,000 on a state-of-the-art TV just doesn't seem to make sense. Still, that extra $50,000 could be used by two shell companies, a gold-plated HDMI cable (ribbed with real dolphin vertebrae!) ) and a film studio to produce 8K video content, and I am grateful for the opportunity to spend it on the accessories needed for an 8K TV.

Such things are few and far between, and I grow tired of watching upscaled versions of "You Got Mail" and "Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Had Me" on DVD. Yes, I still watch DVDs; what is Netflix? Chaz? After lunch with the Illuminati, I pencil in "Google Netflix."

Simply "Why?" I ask, only to be disappointed that it doesn't come with a signed certificate from a local public school teacher. And despite my assistant's assistant calling Samsung's Platinum Tier customer service line, we cannot confirm whether the screen is deliverable by the yacht.

I was also surprised to hear that the diamond advertised in the display image is not only not a diamond, but a strange block of ice that does not come with the TV. Hmmm! Fellow kindred and equally wealthy PC gamers, it looks like we'll just have to live with this for now.

Editor's note: We don't know what happened to James. If you want an affordable TV, try the following TV, which he calls "a grotesque video box for wrestling."