If you get pissed off at an Age of Empires fan, look them straight in the eye, raise your left hand, and say "Wololo" over and over. Your insane meme knowledge will stop all talk of what a real strategy game is, and they will half smile and reform to your cause and start stabbing their former best friend. Effectiveness is not guaranteed.

Age of Empires is on my mind not because of the upcoming Age of Empires 4 (here's everything we know about it), but because Microsoft has somehow decided to release a bunch of new goodies. However, the people who designed some of these items have actually played the game and seem to like it.

There are T-shirts with just the word Wololo, Wololo mugs, and "tumblers with laser-engraved straws." If you dream of sending your troops into battle and celebrating with Chianti amidst the lamentations from the enemy lines, this is the vessel to choose.

There are also a couple of charming Sherpa blankets that even conquerors snuggle up to: "This blanket is the perfect addition to your home.

My favorite is a sweatshirt with a simple legend on it.

Age of Empires players will debate whether scouting with a sheep or two is a good idea or a waste of good food, but the fact is that you can scout the map with sheep and definitely did it all the time in AoEII. They may be half-blind herbivores, but they were always useful in highlighting a situation that looked bad.

I should point out that the above is fleece, but not wool. Seems like a missed opportunity!

Somewhere in the world, someone is playing Age of Empires 4 right now.